Successful Marriage Top Ten Secrets you should Know
A Successful Marriage is a complete decision which you and your Partner should decide on. Most people Make a wrong decision by getting Marring to the Wrong Person Right? Tell you now; No One is the Right or the Wrong Person the Focus fact here is the Final decision you have to make to either have a Successful Marriage or not.
Meanwhile, this Top 10 Successful Marriage Tips and Guide will help you the more to achieve the part of life you wish to live as a married Man or Woman. Successful couples are savvy. They read books, attend seminars, browse Web articles and observe other successful couples. However, successful couples will tell you that they also learn by experience — trial and error.
If you’re reading this article, chances are you’re wanting to be equipped to fulfill God’s design and purpose for your marriage. To help you with that, we encourage you to get author Dr. Tony Evans book called Kingdom Marriage: Connecting God’s Purpose with Your Pleasure. This book will help you grow together as a kingdom couple to discover the hope, challenge, and guidance God’s Word provides for your journey together.
A marriage is successful when there is understanding and tolerance between couples. If two partners understand each other, no matter how crucial the misunderstanding they are faced with, they will be able to tolerate each other. When a marriage is successful, it will give room to establish a successful family.
When you give a gift of any amount to Focus on the Family, we will send you a copy of this book to equip you and your spouse in your marriage.
Top Ten Successful Marriage Tips
Here are 10 principles of success I have learned from working with and observing hundreds of couples:
Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away. Happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction. Happiness is generally linked to experiencing more positive feelings than negative.
True happiness is enjoying your own company and living in peace and harmony with your body, mind and soul. To be truly happy, you don’t need other people or material things. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort and living a life of purpose. Scientific evidence suggests that being happy may have major benefits for your health. For starters, being happy promotes a healthy lifestyle. It may also help combat stress, boost your immune system, protect your heart and reduce pain. What’s more, it may even increase your life expectancy.
Attention is the ability to actively process specific information in the environment while tuning out other details. Attention is limited in terms of both capacity and duration, so it is important to have ways to effectively manage the attentional resources we have available in order to make sense of the world. Effective attention is what allows us to screen out irrelevant stimulation in order to focus on the information that is important in the moment. This also means that we are able to sustain attention which then allows us to engage in a task for long enough to repeatedly practice it.
The idea is to be perceptive toward your partner’s individual needs and not let your bond as a couple weaken. Being attentive is simply our way to show our partners we care and make them feel important and special. They hold a special place in our lives and being attentive to them shows them that. You both need more time and attention together if you want your relationship to thrive. So, what does it mean to pay attention to your spouse? It means that you are attentive to his or her presence, words, needs, and challenges, and that you decide to do something about it.
3. Good Communication
Be clear about what you want to communicate. make your message clear, so that your partner hears it accurately and understands what you mean. talk about what is happening and how it affects you. talk about what you want, need and feel – use ‘I’ statements such as ‘I need’, ‘I want’ and ‘I feel’.
In a great relationship couples talk freely, openly, and feel safe sharing their most private thoughts. They comfortably and considerately verbalize their concerns and feelings when difficulties arise and voice their positive thoughts when things are good.
Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions. In essence, attitudes towards marriage refers to adolescents’ perception and desirability towards marriage. Those with positive attitudes towards marriage tend to express strong support for marriage and expect to get married one day.
Simply put, an individual’s attitude completely embodies the way they relate with the world around them and their disposition to people/themselves. Attitude can be bad or good. Most times, a person’s attitude results from their past experiences and emotional/physical environment.
Love means knowing that no matter what, you have someone to count on. It’s unconditional and makes you feel good on the inside. You can trust the person you love and are comfortable around them. It’s like your heart tells you that it is good for you. But true love in a healthy marriage focuses on meeting the needs of our spouse and not selfishly on our own. We also know that love isn’t just an emotion. Love is a decision — a commitment. It’s the action of deliberately choosing to dedicate yourself and energies to making your loved one happy.
Love looks like compassion, sympathy, and empathy. Love looks like patience, forgiveness, and humility – time and time again (even when you feel like you don’t deserve it!). Love looks like “hello” kisses that last longer than two seconds. Among married people, 93% say love is a very important reason to get married; 84% of unmarried people say so. Men and women are equally likely to say love is a very important reason to get married. But love only goes so far.
6. The grass is greenest where you water it.
Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth — i.e., someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better. Someone who is putting their energy into comparing themselves to others, well that’s exactly where they’re putting their resources, and some else’s lawn gets greener because you’re wasting your water on them and not reserving it for yourself.
It’s not up to another person, place or thing to make us happy. Happiness comes from within and it takes work and consistent action. The grass isn’t greener on the other side. The grass is greenest where you water it.
Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope — almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves. OK, so what does commitment in a marriage mean? It’s a commitment to be willing to do whatever it takes to make the marriage work, and that means there are going to be many times when you’re just not going to get your way. And you’re going to have to be OK with it, they say.
Personal commitment is the one that really matters. The emotional aspect of personal commitment enhances our marriage because it directs how we feel about our partner, and how we feel about them regulates how we treat them. Personally committed partners tend to think of each other in a positive light. A committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon agreed-upon commitment to one another involving love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other behavior. Forms of committed relationships include close friendship, long-term relationships, engagement, marriage, and civil unions.
Trusting your spouse to only share their physical self with you is a hallmark of marital faithfulness. Being faithful is not just limit to your physical relationship. It also includes being trustworthy and honest about how and with whom: You’re sharing your emotions, dreams, struggles, and goals.
A marital trust is a fiduciary relationship between a trustor and trustee for the benefit of a surviving spouse and the married couple’s heirs. Also called an “A” trust, a marital trust goes into effect when the first spouse dies. Trusting your husband or wife will enable you to feel safe, secure and supported. As marriage is a lifetime commitment, it is very important to know that you are committing to someone you can trust and confide your thoughts, feelings and worries to.
“To trust means to rely on another person because you feel safe with them and have confidence that they will not hurt or violate you. Trust is the foundation of relationships because it allows you to be vulnerable and open up to the person without having to defensively protect yourself,” says Romanoff.
9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears.
Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they married an imperfect person — and so did their spouse.
If your marriage is filled with conflict, don’t give up. “If your marriage is filled with conflict, don’t give up.” This scripture instructs a husband to love his wife as he loves himself and that his wife must respect him. If your marriage is filled with conflict, don’t give up.
While sex and money are the most “important” things couples get mad at each other for, less important things such as sexual jealousy, hating each other’s friends, dealing with each other’s family, and discussing children all factor into things couples say cause the most conflict.
Making time to communicate about your relationship will help you avoid conflicts in the future and help you feel like a teammate with your partner. Taking time to have a date night is important too. Life cannot be all work, so a night to focus on connecting and enjoyment helps strengthen a relationship.
According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you’ve already lived together. In fact, it often doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.
Either way, let me know by leaving a comment below!
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