Falling in love is supposed to be a happy experience, not a confusing one.
But every now and then, there comes a time when you unintentionally fall in love with a girl who seems right, but that might be completely wrong for you.
Most likely you have fallen for a girl who blows hot and cold, who behaves like your girlfriend at times and refers to you as ‘friend’ at other times. She’s simply being indecisive. The really question is why is she being so indecisive?
The fact is, when we get something too easily without really working for it, we never appreciate it. If we don’t desire something and get it all of a sudden, we never really care too much for it.
When it comes to pursuing a girl, always take things slow. Pursue her, but at the same time make her work for your affection too. It’s great to follow your instincts in life, but when it comes to falling in love, your inexperienced instincts will always lead you straight into the middle of a firing zone.
If you want to make a girl fall in love with you and be in a relationship with you, play it cool. And as much as you want to go all out with your guns blazing because that’s what your heart tells you to do, avoid it!
That said, it is very easy to pinpoint a girl who’s just too indecisive to ever be in a healthy relationship:
#1 The relationship with no name.
She flirts with you, goes on dates with you, but doesn’t give the relationship a name. Both of you may be intensely attracted to each other, but she still calls you a good friend even though all your friends see her as your girlfriend.
#2 She makes out with you.
She may make out with you, or she may cuddle and cozy up with you, but how far things go in bed or whether both of you show affection in public completely depends on her mood and her plans. It’s always up to her, because that’s the way she is.
#3 It’s a secret relationship.
A few of her friends may know both of you are close, but none of her friends have any idea that something serious is going on between the both of you. It’s a secret relationship and she wants to keep it that way.
#4 She’s distant.
She’s distant and aloof when you reciprocate her emotions. When you give her a lot of attention, she tries to keep her distance from you.
#5 And then she wants to be closer.
When you give her the space because she’s being distant, she immediately changes her behavior and starts craving for your attention when you back away. She tries to keep in touch with you and texts you often just to win your attention back.
#6 She makes herself appear helpless.
She convinces you that you’re very important to her and that she needs you. She makes herself appear weak and helpless without your advice and emotional support. She tells you she needs you, and that she’s very close to you, and she doesn’t know what she’d do without you in her life.
#7 She blows hot and cold.
She’s friendly and close for several days or weeks, and then all of a sudden she ignores you and won’t have time for you. You see this happening pretty frequently, where she ignores you when she’s getting caught up with anything and everything from “meetings” and “errands” to even “catching up with” previous boyfriends from past relationships (always a questionable sign).
#8 She doesn’t want to acknowledge that you like her.
She’s very evasive when it comes to talking about your feelings. Every time you tell her that you want to date her exclusively, she just smiles or changes the subject. Or in the worst case, she may tell you she not ready to be in a relationship. But she will still lean in, wrap her arms around you and kiss you to make you feel better!
#9 She tells you she loves you.
You almost believe you’re in a relationship with her already. She may tell you that she loves you and needs you, and yet, she doesn’t behave like your girlfriend. She just expects you to cater to her whims and fancies when she needs your attention.
So. What do YOU need to do if a girl is be indecisive about being in a relationship with you?
First, think about what you really want for yourself. Do you really want to be someone’s option? Do you really want to be in an ambiguous relationship?
The answer is NO! Once you’re stuck in the clutches of a girl who doesn’t know what she wants, you have no choice. You screw your mind and obsess about where the relationship is going. You’re confused and frustrated, annoyed and angry, and yet, you can’t leave her or walk away from her because she knows just what to say and do to dig her nails deeper into your heart.
This girl who leads you on is like an addiction you can’t get rid of. And you feel like the only way to end this miserable excuse of a relationship is by picking a fight with her that’ll make her dislike you. Of course, you’ll feel miserable for letting her get away from you. But you do know the relationship was a lost cause already, don’t you?
Now, how do you attract the right type of girl? How do you make sure you don’t fall into these pitfalls in the future? Follow these rules…
#1 Don’t rush it.
Take your time and play it cool. Never ever make your intentions too clear to the girl you like, and don’t be overeager to pour out your feelings.
#2 Just the right amount of attention.
Don’t drop all your commitments and give her all your attention all the time. That’s the easiest way to make a girl get bored of you really soon.
#3 Love yourself.
This is very important. Do you truly love yourself? If you don’t think you’re awesome, how can you convince the world and all the beautiful girls in it that you’re an awesome guy? Fall in love with yourself and respect yourself, and the world will see you the same way too!
#4 Let her see that you have a life.
Keep yourself busy and involve yourself in different activities. Go on out there and enjoy the world, be it by trekking over the weekend, joining a few fun clubs or even doing something new with your friends. The more interesting you and your conversations are, the more awed by you she’ll be.
#5 Look great.
Looks aren’t every girl’s biggest priority, but it’ll definitely be a perk if you are fit and healthy. Work out, be healthy, dress well, and smell great. You’ll make a much better first impression with every girl you meet.
#6 Don’t appear insecure.
If she’s getting a lot of attention from other guys who are trying to woo her at the same time, take extra care in showing that you can stand on your own two feet. A little bit of jealousy is cute, but only after she starts showing signs of liking you back.
#7 Don’t get clingy.
Always give a girl her space, especially when you’re trying to catch her attention. Don’t keep bumping into her intentionally, avoid constantly staring at her each time she’s talking to some other guy, and stop calling her every night. Give her some space and give her the chance to miss you and realize how bored she is without having you around.
#8 The dependable guy.
Don’t go over the top here, but be willing to help her out when she needs help. Be the guy she can depend on to get her out of trouble. Girls love it when a guy they’re with has a protective streak. If she feels safe with you, or believes you’re a guy who can handle any tough situation, you’re already in her good books.
#9 Don’t tell her you love her.
This is a big mistake, at least if you say it before she shows signs of any real commitment. Always leave her wondering what’s on your mind even if you’re flirting with her. The curiosity will make her want you even more. Go out on a date or three before you even think of telling her that you like her.
#10 Don’t give her all the control.
Every now and then, back off for a day or two and wait for her to call you or ask you out on a date. By making her take the effort now and then, you’ll be giving her the opportunity to discover for herself how much she likes you, and that will only make her fall harder for you.
#11 Don’t always be available.
If you want to make a girl fall in love with you, be there for her. But if you feel like she’s using you at any point of time, back off and tell her you’re busy. If you avoid backing off now and then when you’re busy or when you feel like she’s using you for something, you’ll end up becoming her doormat and her “Friday man.” And remember this: at the end of the day, a girl would never want to date a guy who behaves like her slave.
All you need to do is play it safe and smooth and avoid making your intentions clear right at the beginning. Too many guys rush right in, express their undying infatuation to a girl they like, and expect everything to work out just fine.